Thanksgiving

It is THanksgiving week and I haven't gotten the thoughts out of my head in a while. This year has been a very long boxing match. Strong hits have been made on both sides but I really can't call a winner. The film industry has not been moving well at all I have only worked on three films this year and the last one was the first time I have left a show without another job to move on too. Victor is almost two and growing and showing more intelligence everyday. Jessie and I through anger and hurtful words now have a working schedule with him. In some strange way our animalistic nature towards each other hasn't changed at all we do spend more time avoiding each other because of that. Damn I hope we are doing right by our child. Liz and I are still at war with each other. When we are on the front lines fighting other battles we are the perfect team but whatever magic there is that binds us together if we are away from each other for to long that magic turns into poison and bile. I can't blame her for our love hate relationship I am a hard person to be around. I'm driven by the things I want to accomplish and I compartmentalize everything else in my life to do the things that I want to do. I have seen how the southern life is established and I want nothing to do with it. I like living in the city and hearing cars and sirens I enjoy working long hours in the entertainment industry and I like watching victor grow. I feel sad that I have a bond with Jessica that I may never have with anyone else because I do put her before any love that I feel for anyone else. On another note my mother is now living with me although I may have not made it through these two months financially without her here I hate every minute of it. My life seems to be at a stand still giving time to others instead of it being mine although that may be selfish that's how I feel. In a strange way I'm thankful for were I am for the possibilities of where I can possibly be if I shut the fuck up and grind. On another note Joey and I have been developing this web series that I am very proud of I hope we can get it off the ground. I have some web ideas that I think can bring some spunk into shreveport I just need to start developing them I'm excited reinvention and rebirth are kind of the thing to do right now I hope I can give liz strength to be the person she is and not the nut she can become

until next time peace